


I'm sorry

by Gutsnblood



Category: Love-Com
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 10:45:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11965806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gutsnblood/pseuds/Gutsnblood
Summary: I just needed to vent...





	I'm sorry

Life is one hell of a bitch.

It'll hold you gently in it's delicate hands, nuzzle you against it's cheek, hell- maybe even rock you lovingly from side to side.

But then, before you know it, it's slowly opening its mouth, tightening it's grip on you and stretching its jaw far and wide to toss you into a hell you never even knew existed.

 _"I love you."_ She said.

But after a past relationship full of fear, dread, regrets and heartbreak, my mind would not allow me to return the phrase, let alone the mere thought.

They say great minds think alike, right? But that saying is oh so wrong, for we were both so utterly dumb. 

 _She never loved me._ Or maybe she did. 

It's not fair. It really isn't. You cant change the past no matter how hard you try to forget, no matter how many nights you stay up crying, praying,  _begging._

Life, as it has you in between its teeth, will grant absolutely no mercy, ignoring how completely devastated and pained you seem to be as it bites down  _hard_. Though, you never snap in half.

Life doesn't kill you. 

_You kill yourself._

There isn't a better way to put it.

And that's just the beginning.

_"I love you too."_

You can't blame everything on life, and I shit you not, the chain of events is still whipping me to this day.

I should've kept my mouth shut, but the flaming desire within me to make you happy was  _burning._

 _I never loved you._ Or maybe I did.

Maybe I just couldn't do it.

There's this awful pain that comes with loving someone, and it doesn't matter how you love them.  _Love is blind._

Losing all of your senses and replacing them with the word  _love_ is already scary in itself.

And I, poor fucking asshole me, made the mistake of giving up every muscle in my mind for somebody.

They say all good things come to an end don't they? Well, if that isn't the realest thing i've heard in my entire life.

She took my sight, my hearing, my  _feelings._ I couldn't see what you wanted from me, and I had to mask that up with what I thought was best.

There was  _never_ anything wrong with you...

It was all my fault.

Life doesn't just stop at the miserable chewing, no, your body runs over it's slimy tongue, down into it's stomach, through it's intestines.

It  _burns._

Imagine standing in a fire, drenched from head to toe in gasoline, chained to the wall and unable to move, your skin turning black and peeling off, smoke filling your lungs as you beg and cry for the flames to engulf you and end it once and for all.

_But you can't end it. You can't get out._

You're already at the point of no return, and you feel so alone, with only the numbness of your mind to keep you company.

It hurts, it really does.

Not only does it pain me now, looking back, but it pains me that you're so willing to just forget it all.

 _"You have so much potential."_ She says.

And I know I don't. I really don't.

_I'm blind and deaf in a world full of color and music._

_"Forget about me."_ She says. 

 But how could I? How could I forget the best thing that ever happened to me?

How?  _Gods tell me how._

Imagine asking someone to forget their own name.

 _"We barely talk."_ She says,  _"we have nothing in common anymore."_  

_But that doesn't stop me from trying._

I know I fucked up, I know. But I'd rather sit here and suffer than watch you do exactly that.

As life has me bathing in it's stomach acid, squeezed through its rectum and shot out the back end, I realized something.

_I love you._

_And I can't let go._

_But its too late._


End file.
